Illustration: Eliot Wyatt. It's a busy Saturday evening in my local pub. After three vodka sodas with fresh lime and a splash of cranberry yes, I'm gay , the familiar tingle of my bladder greets me. After heading to the men's toilets, my fears are confirmed: they're mobbed. Not only is the cubicle engaged, but the dreaded queue for urinals is, unlike me, in full flow. For a man who doesn't like peeing at urinals, these circumstances present two choices. First, you wait in a separate, somehow more humiliating queue for a cubicle, publicly signalling to every man in sight that you're desperate for a shit — even though you aren't. Alternatively, you can wait it out, hoping that when you get there your bladder will perform.

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Every time I use the bathroom at one of my grandchildren's school events, I flash back to my own childhood. Coming face-to-face with the communal trough urinal and door-less toilet stalls triggers my feelings of juvenile embarrassment. In case a man has never used one of these urinals, eHow offers up advice on "How to Use a Trough Urinal.
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I just witnessed a man using an iPad mini during his visit to the urinal. Uhh …. We couldn't find this Tweet. In the gents.
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